Steak & Boobs

Steak & Boobs


One of the unique cultures in Oregon is the strip club scene. Since Oregon has the most strip clubs per capita the residents of Oregon have accepted the otherwise deviant source of entertainment.  


There's a fun club on McLoughlin known as 'The Acropolis.' what makes this place great, other than the beautiful woman, is its steak and beer.  There are so many microbrews on tap, it's a beer lovers dream come true.  The steak is amazing and very inexpensive. I'm talking $10 for an amazing cut of beef. Top quality and it doesn't break the budget. The reason the steak is amazing and reasonable is the owner of the club owns a cattle ranch in Montana.  He brings his beef over, and I shit-you-not, the place is packed every-night, there's beef on every plate, and there's a plate in front of every patron.


So me and my p-town gang had a couple of parties at the club. It was FUN! we drank looked at beautiful woman all night.  The crazy thing on one night was the fully tribal tatted chica. She was the eye-candy for the night. Everyone was mesmerized by her movement and hot body. I'm not one to like the full tatted thing but she made it work.
I knew her secret to her hot body. Cause I played volleyball against her the week before. My team kicked her ass. But she was a fantastic setter and could work the pole like no other girl in that club.  So much fun... That night was one to remember.  My best friends parents came, married couples were getting lap dances together. Everyone had a blast and stories to tell for years. 

Just A Minor Sprain

Just a minor sprain

After being told that I wasn't college material by several friends and family I was determined to prove everyone wrong.  I worked my butt off my junior year to get noticed.  I sent out tapes and drafted letters to many colleges.  My junior summer leading into my senior year I went to a major volleyball tournament in Davis California.  This tournament is a huge recruitment opportunity and I was lucky to have a few coaches stop by to see my skills.  

The summer months powered on and I trained hard.  I was at the gym almost everyday working on cardio and strength training. I was pumped for my senior year.  

 Practice was moving along great. I was loving being captain and leading the eager underclassmen.  Finally I had received a call from one of the colleges.  A five-minute call and my dreams came true.  I had received a full-ride scholarship to play volleyball. After everyone telling me I couldn't or wasn't good enough.   Ha! I had done it! 

The next day I went to practice feeling like a million dollars; such a great feeling. That practice I was participating in my favorite drill.  It’s a drill of speed and endurance.  Before the drill started I looked back at my team and told them, "I've never lost this drill and I'm not about to lose today, so run fast!".  I was the first person to start running, and I did.  I ran fast, really fast.  Unfortunately when I went to slow down my knee bent backward and sideways at the same time.  I went down quick with my knee stuck at 90-degree angle.  I cussed loud and screamed "Fu** fu** fu** me. Eff me. Eff me!" all I could think of was that 'this was going to blow my scholarship.'  I hopped to my car and drove home.  My mom took me to the ER.  The x-rays told the attending physician and us that it was just a minor sprain.  I was so relieved but shocked that I was handling the pain so horribly, cause it really hurt.  So I wrapped it and took a couple of weeks off.  I played for 2-months.  Then I really hurt it after playing a really bad school in my league.  I re-injured it after the game because my cousins wanted to play pickup so I jumped on the court.  After receiving a tight set to the outside I landed on the outside of my foot and my knee gave out.  A loud pop was heard around the court.  I hopped to my car again and screamed from the pain.  My step dad and uncle Claude carried me up the stairs and I refused to go to the emergency room- why would I? Just to be told I had another sprain.  I had no knowledge of knee injuries at this point of my life.  After horrible pain spasms I had my mom take me to the ER at 5am.  The next day I had a MRI and the day after that I was told that I needed to have surgery due to a medial meniscus and ACL tear.  I asked the doctor, “so like 3-4 weeks off? My championships are in 6weeks.”  He almost laughed at my naive statement.  My senior year was over.  I waited to have my surgery till Christmas break.  The two physicians that operated told me it was the worst ACL and meniscus tear they had seen in 50-years combined medical experience.  I had a five hour surgery, followed by a hospital stay over, accompanied by a morphine drip.  

The next day was horrible.  I was in pain, my mom was unprepared to take me home, and they want to give me Vicodin. I had been on Vicodin for 3- months and had built a hefty resistance.  So they up'd me to Percaset.  I had a crazy reaction to the new pain killer.  Almost got in a physical fight with my step dad and threatened to stick my crutch up my grandpas butt for leaving his chair in the way.  Crazytime- my mom took me off the Percaset.  I was out for a year.  A year without sports.... This killed me. It still hurts when I think about it. 

Best Of Oregon

Best of Oregon
Tillamook Cheese- Mild Cheddar Baby Loaf & Colby Jack

Bob's Redmill- Best oatmeal I've found

Clackamas River- For intertubing in the summer

Medicinal Marijuana- yep :-)

Assisted Suicide- Thank God we can help people when they're already gone

St. Rodeo- 76-years of FUN!

Mt. Hood- Beautiful to see when the clouds part

Oregon Coast- Miss this most.  It's like no other coast you've ever seen

Moss- Cover tree branches, trunks, rocks, and roofs.  Everything is green

Maple bars- Yep :-)

Beer- Most breweries per capita

Summers-

Smell of Spring- Spring rain has the most glorious smell

Cherries- Off the tree or at a fruit stand.  Amazing

Wild Blackberries- A horrible weed with the best reward

Red Tail Hawk- Beautiful to see in action

Hot Springs- Cougar Hot Springs outside Eugene absolutely amazing

Cobblestone Beach- perfect round stone.  Hard to describe how amazing this little beach is

Strip Clubs- Most strip clubs per capita

Coffee ie Dutch bros- Little coffee barns with great coffee and people

No Sales Tax- Hard to imagine huh?

Nike- Was started and is headquarted here.  Oregonians are proud of Nike

"I'm going to work so that it's a pure guts race at the end, and if it is, I am the only one who can win it." -Steve Prefontaine

Hawthorne- Great street for shopping, dining, and drinking.  The people are amazing

Marathon Taverna- Favorite bar in Portland, even though I left my favorite leather coat on my 22 birthday there

Ginos in Sellwood- Best Bloody Mary I've ever had.   Family style food.  So good!

Bridges- Thanks to WPA all the bridges we're built to connect North & South Portland.  They are beautiful

Sweatshirt & Jeans- This is the fanciest attire you'll wear in Oregon.  Not much more you need.

Jayisms

My step-dad is the best guy in the world.  He is one of the funniest people I know.  Here are the daily phrases I grew up with.  I believe his humor shaped me into the woman I am today. 
Jayisms
Ur right for twice
Good riddance
Dut dut dougheia
I am now washing my hair...I am know rinsing my hair...I am now....
Ain't supposed to smell like roses
You know how to Lose 10 ugly pounds...
Dont know it's not my turn to know
Alright you're boring me
I'm gonna get you the same present I got u last year
Toad licker
F**** Lips
dude
Sar sar
Wow...I just flushed you 10min ago
You can call me 'Jaysus'
You can call me 'The Man'
Man you used to be a cute kid what happened?
Hmmm well now no that's not right
Bubble butt
Whisker biscuit
Ok your gonna have to takes this in the other room.
Alright I'm gonna take a nap. Don't you wake me I don't want to have to beat you.
Wood-eye wood-eye
You know how to make a hotdog stand?
Glad u got to see me
Smell you later
Keep in touch with yourself